I have a saying written on my fridge that talks about how panic attacks, stress, being overemotional and scared aren’t signs of being crazy, they’re signs of having tried to be strong on your own for too long.
Last night I had a bit of a break down.
Sometimes it seems so easy for me to pin things on my inspiration board, put things on my To-Do-Whenever-The-Fuck-I-Feel-Like-It list, dream about my tea/craft shop, dream about being a foster parent, and then go through all my patterns dreaming of the miles of yarn I’ll be getting to create them.
But then doubt, worry, fear, and all their shitty little friends show up and totally crash my Happy Day Party as if they belong there. And in the aftermath of their destruction of all things good and fun in my life, I’m left with the feelings that none of it is ever going to work, nothing is worth trying, nothing is worth pushing for and I’d might as well just curl up in bed and call in sick for the rest of my life.
THIS IS NORMAL!
And not just normal for me; we all crack from pressures of our everyday lives. We get scared that projects won’t work out, that plans will fall through, that we’ll be stuck in the same shitty job/relationship/town for the rest of our lives or that we’ll be alone for the rest of our lives and while it’s important to be alone for the first few moments of our total meltdowns, the worst thing we can do afterward is isolate ourselves away. For me, I curled up in Sweets lap, sobbed and talked until I was done and then we held each other until we fell asleep.
Allow yourself your process and find your path to happiness.